Can you really run your own brain?

When I was a child, my Uncle Roy had a funny little ornament of a man with a plaque on the bottom that said - "Be sure mouth is engaged before putting mouth in gear". Although I did not understand what that meant at the time, I have learned they are very wise words indeed. There was a time when I would just say what I thought. After all, that is part of being authentic right? I have since discovered that not everything I think has value for myself or those around me and some thoughts are better kept quiet. If someone asks for my advice I may give it but I no longer feel the need to speak out loud almost everything I think.

Until we learn to think about our thoughts rather than speak them all out loud, we are at the mercy of emotions. As we develop greater control of our thinking and our emotions, we also develop less need to 'help' others by offering up advice or opinions to them. This ability to perceive and manage both ours and others emotions is commonly called Emotional Intelligence.

According to Salovey and Mayer, who have been the leading researchers in emotional intelligence since the 1990's, there are four branches that make up emotional intelligence. These are:

1. Perceiving Emotions
   
2. Reasoning With Emotions
3. Understanding Emotions
   
4. Managing Emotions

Two of these, perceiving and reasoning, relate to how we get along with others. The other two, understanding and managing, relate to how we get along with ourselves. If we are able to understand and manage our emotions, we will have much more peace in our relationships and in our lives.